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Oscillations

For all past RP, in any location. Put where and when it takes place at the top of the first post in the thread.
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Young Lawrence Keelan
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Re: Oscillations

Post by Young Lawrence Keelan » Sun Mar 04, 2018 3:10 am

"Yeah," he mumbled. "I know."

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Qingying
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Re: Oscillations

Post by Qingying » Sun Mar 04, 2018 3:12 am

“Were you angry because you were upset, or angry at… people and events?” His tone was soft, not interrogative.

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Young Lawrence Keelan
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Re: Oscillations

Post by Young Lawrence Keelan » Sun Mar 04, 2018 3:13 am

He gestured, and nodded.

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Qingying
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Re: Oscillations

Post by Qingying » Sun Mar 04, 2018 3:19 am

He dipped his head and considered Laurie's words while gazing at the ground.

“Mmm… You don’t have to be sorry about the way you reacted. Like I said, you can talk about it, or ask, or let someone know. You two will never be punished for it. Being upset, being angry… that’s normal.” He chuckled. “I know – that sounds kind of odd coming from me – but it’s true.”

“No one will blame you.” He shook his head. “It’s not your fault, and it’s not shameful.”

He smiled at him. “I won’t be angry at you for being angry.

Weeelll, I might be, for other things! I’ll remind you. But anger… is often how we deal with things. Being upset, being angry… We’re all just trying our best, and we don’t know what else to do, or we’re confused.” He didn’t reach up to pet Laurie’s head because he knew he didn’t like it, so just looked at him with a soft smile, and then brought his gaze to Mahra. “It’s alright.”

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Young Lawrence Keelan
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Re: Oscillations

Post by Young Lawrence Keelan » Sun Mar 04, 2018 3:47 am

"I didn't, it wasn't--" Laurie shook his head. "Mar's right. It wasn't fair."

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Qingying
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Re: Oscillations

Post by Qingying » Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:08 am

He looked ahead of him with a very small smile.
“Sometimes we don’t consider what is fair when emotions are being felt strongly…”

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Young Lawrence Keelan
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Re: Oscillations

Post by Young Lawrence Keelan » Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:09 am

"I said, uh, some stupid shit. You scared me." He wiped his eyes. "I don't know what to do with this." He was breathing shallowly, and then he slammed his hands into his eyes. "Goddammit!"

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Qingying
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Re: Oscillations

Post by Qingying » Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:14 am

“Don’t do that, Orie,” he said gently, reaching for his wrists, brushing his fingertips over them to remind him of his presence without pulling his hands away.

“It’s okay. Emotions, feelings, thoughts… we all gradually learn to understand and work with them, and many continue to do so until they’re very old, or until they pass away. It’s okay to not know. Don’t go off on your own and feel that emotions are not allowed, that expression is wrong. Emotions are never wrong – it’s how people choose their actions while feeling them. Sometimes, emotions are so strong we’re not able to see choices. It’s alright. You don’t have to deal with them on your own; we are here. We won’t reject you for feeling. You are not wrong. You are not wrong.”

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Young Lawrence Keelan
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Re: Oscillations

Post by Young Lawrence Keelan » Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:19 am

He just stared at Qingying, his eyes wide and watery and red, and stayed completely still. Through his touch he could feel Laurie's hands were shaking. His jaw trembled with shivers like he was freezing, despite the warming spell Mahra had placed on them. He looked ready to bolt, but remained present as though he were a feral animal trapped in a cage. "That's not true," he finally managed to get out, shaking his head.

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Qingying
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Re: Oscillations

Post by Qingying » Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:20 am

“It’s true for me,” he smiled.

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Young Lawrence Keelan
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Re: Oscillations

Post by Young Lawrence Keelan » Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:21 am

He just nodded, uncomprehending. "OK."

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Qingying
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Re: Oscillations

Post by Qingying » Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:22 am

“Why do you not think it’s true?”

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Young Lawrence Keelan
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Re: Oscillations

Post by Young Lawrence Keelan » Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:24 am

He shook his head. "Can't." Mahra touched his arm and took his hand, playing with his fingers. You can. No, I can't. Yes. It's OK. "Gotta deal with my shit. By myself."

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Qingying
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Re: Oscillations

Post by Qingying » Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:26 am

Oh, he meant that?

“It’s not your shit. We’re family. It’s ours.”

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Young Lawrence Keelan
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Re: Oscillations

Post by Young Lawrence Keelan » Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:27 am

"All the shit that's in my head. All the shit in Mahra's head. You can't know that, Qin. You can't."

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Qingying
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Re: Oscillations

Post by Qingying » Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:29 am

His expression softened.
“Not the same, no, but everyone has their own. And you can tell me, you can show me. Even people who do not know – even if they’re not shown – are still there for the people they care about, sharing their burdens, walking forwards together.”

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Young Mahra Keelan
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Re: Oscillations

Post by Young Mahra Keelan » Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:30 am

Mahra touched Laurie's cheek. He took most of it. The words were soft, winding through them, more concept than anything. So I wouldn't have to. Sometimes it didn't work. That imagery was gentle, delicate, diplomatic. But often it did.

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Qingying
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Re: Oscillations

Post by Qingying » Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:38 am

“Orie, you say you want to be responsible for yourself, and to help Mahra, if he needs aid.

Other people can only offer; they can only offer an open hand, an inviting smile, or hold out a platter for you to put some of the weight. You cannot say you will not do something because other people do not know, or cannot do something; they’re doing what they can. It’s you who has to decide to share some of what you hold. It’s not so much about what other people know; it’s about you, choosing to be responsible for yourself, understanding that it’s your choice – that’s it’s mostly up to you. You can say other people do not know and therefore you won’t do something forever, but isn’t that because of you – not them?

You need to be responsible, acknowledge your responsibilities and the actions you can take, and then choose. It’s not their lacking or inability because of not knowing; it’s your responsibility to choose whether to share.”

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Young Lawrence Keelan
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Re: Oscillations

Post by Young Lawrence Keelan » Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:43 am

"I'm not saying you're lacking because you don't know," Laurie muttered. "I'm saying I can't. Because it's sickness. I can't say the fucking words for Christ's sake."

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Qingying
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Re: Oscillations

Post by Qingying » Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:48 am

He dipped his head, and then smiled a little playfully.
“Still makes it true.”

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Young Lawrence Keelan
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Re: Oscillations

Post by Young Lawrence Keelan » Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:49 am

Laurie looked pale. "There were no trusted adults where we were. Call the police, yeah, except when your client shows up in uniform. There was no one to trust. I tried everything I could to get Mahra--" his voice cracked "--the fuck out of there. Yeah until they pointed a goddamn machine gun at his head. So, no, I didn't tell an adult, Qin."

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Qingying
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Re: Oscillations

Post by Qingying » Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:53 am

“I wasn’t talking about the past, Laurie. I was aware what I said may clash with what you two experienced, but I wasn’t sure what you were told and what you knew, and how biased the ‘information’ given to you two, were. I said too much in one go, but I needed to say it – safety… I wanted to mention, first.”

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Young Lawrence Keelan
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Re: Oscillations

Post by Young Lawrence Keelan » Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:54 am

"Yeah, well, it's relative, isn't it?" Laurie's voice cracked. "Just because it's not the past doesn't invalidate the fact that some people are just fucking smarter than me and know how to coerce me."

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Qingying
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Re: Oscillations

Post by Qingying » Sun Mar 04, 2018 5:09 am

“They are not smarter, then. They are unkind; much less kind, and caring, and brave, than you two. Cowards are not smart.

Yes, sometimes, what is not desired, occurs, but that is partly why it’s important to teach children safety, and what to do, and also adults how to act and behave around them. Sometimes, even with precautions, there are those who slip through. If, however, a child can tell a trusted adult, the situation may be remedied. There may not be one available – that was the ‘ideal’ (well, not that it would be ‘ideal’ if that was needed in the first place).

It was important to say. You two have people who care about you, now, and likely will meet more people who do, in the future.”

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Young Lawrence Keelan
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Re: Oscillations

Post by Young Lawrence Keelan » Sun Mar 04, 2018 5:11 am

"Yeah, well, me and Mahra are disproportionately exposed to this kind of shit, Qin. You realize that, right?"

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